sad teen by the pool

מאת Elizabeth Wickham

  1. אהבה ללא תנאי

  2. הקשיבו, אל תדברו

  3. אל תטיפו

  4. עודדו יעדים חדשים

  5. תנו להם מרחב התאוששות

  6. האכזבה שלהם אמיתית

  7. צאו לחגוג

by Elizabeth Wickham

It’s a tense time for a lot of parents, swimmers and coaches. There’re a lot of hopeful athletes trying for the cut for the next big meet—whether it’s an age group meet or Olympic Trials. Tears, frustration and heartbreak can be seen all over the pool deck and in the stands. Then, there are shouts of “We’re going to Omaha!” and the biggest smiles ever. That’s wonderful and congratulations! But, when our child doesn’t make the cut, we may dab a few tears from our eyes.

Here are my tips for swim parents when your swimmer misses the big cut:


Unconditional Love.

“I love to watch you swim.” It’s true. We do love to watch our children swim—for better or worse. We are their biggest fans. We will love them no matter what happens at any swim meet. Let’s make sure they know that.


Listen don’t talk.

Don’t bring up the meet or the missed cut. Wait for them to bring it up and listen without interrupting. We don’t need to explain our theory of what their coach should have done or what our child could have done.


Don’t rehash.

After our kids miss a cut they’ve been trying for—they probably aren’t up to hearing our rendition of it. Not once, not twice, or the next times, either.


Encourage new goals.

Our lives are filled with disappointments and losses. If a swimmer sets new goals after a failure, they will be on the road to success in swimming and other aspects of their lives. If you don’t hear about new goals, maybe you can share some ideas in the future.


Give them space to regroup.

If it’s last ditch and they didn’t get a cut, a little time off could be a treat. If there’re more meets ahead, maybe an ice cream and hug is in order.


Disappointment is real.

Give your child time to mourn. Allow ourselves time to get over it, too. A lot of family time is tied to achievement and success around the pool deck.



Recognize our kids are in the hunt. They are doing something daily that very few others in the world can do. Be proud and realize that swimming will help them throughout their lives, in so many ways.